Poor communication between parents. Let your child express their feelings to you without judgment. “What should I do when my child doesn’t want to go visit the other parent?” As a divorce attorney in Charleston, South Carolina, that is one of the toughest (and most heartbreaking) questions I get asked by some clients. Here are some tips when your child doesn’t want to go with his or her other parent. Parental alienation is when one parent discredits the other parent to a child or children the two share. Your child should never be placed in the middle and feel they need to tattle on the other parent. She probably wants to live with both parents. The Family Court is commonly faced with the issue of a child rejecting a parent or resisting spending time with that parent. If a child decides to live with the non-custodial parent, is there anything the custodial parent can do to stop that child from doing so? My attorney says he gets to choose, but my ex’s attorney says he doesn’t. During that time, Michael provided money to his parents for the child’s care. Answer: Please note that these rules change according to state. Child knows the parents don’t compare notes and is gravitating to the more lenient home. If a child in this situation doesn't particularly want to live with one of the parents, the child will become resentful and potentially act out. In the past, the child has came to live full time with us as his other parent has said they have had enough of him always saying that he doesn't want to be there. However, there was “undisputed evidence that during most of the time between 1981 and 1987, Michael’s own parents cared for the parties’ child in the grandparents’ home. This happened a few years back and happened on two occasions but both occasions lasted less than two weeks and the other parent changed their mind and demanded all of their time back. Don’t put your children in the middle. A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. Courts also consider your child's age when ruling in a custody case. Many states have started to consider a child’s stated preference for the parent with whom the child wishes to reside when the child reaches 12 or 13. Talk to your child about why they don't want to go. This also depends on whether there is a custody order. These can be indicators of alienation or enmeshment and the Court can make orders to manage such situations to ensure children have the opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. Try to get to the bottom of why your child doesn't want to spend time or stay with your co-parent. One house is more lenient than the other. If your child does not want to live with you because you enforce the rules and the other parent doesn’t, for example, this is a situation where you should likely disregard your child’s wishes. For example, perhaps mom tells her child that their dad doesn’t love them or want … Some parents push their children about why they don’t want to go. During that same time, the mother did not provide any support for the child. In fact, laws vary widely from state to state. Truth is, the child is telling the truth. How old must a child be in order to choose which parent he or she wants to live with? Brette's Answer: No court is going to force a 17 year old to go on visitation if he doesn't want to. The laws governing a child and his or her right to choose which parent with whom to reside are far from settled. Both parents believe her and so they about where their daughter really wants to live. However, as your child gets older and more mature, courts have the discretion to ask them to choose who they prefer to live with. When it's your turn to respond, do so with kindness and understanding. My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. 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